Little Bird
by im-yours-for-life
Summary: An AU one-shot about John and his little girl.


Little Bird

The picnic had been Anna's idea and John was happy to oblige. It had been a long time since they had gone on one, before the darkness had come into their lives. The shadows had lessened since then, even though they never fully went away, but their life together was good again. Anna had found a very secluded spot on the property, John had no idea how she had found it, only knew she liked to take walks when the memories were too much and she needed space, he assumed she had found it that way and was touched that she had wanted to share one of those places with him. He laid out the blanket and started setting out the food. Anna's hand on his arm stopped him and he looked up at her a question on his face. He watched as she quickly licked her lips, John's breath quickening as he watched her tongue, Anna leaned forward to press her lips to his, her hand stroking up his leg, John stilled in surprise, Anna had not been this forward in a long time; their lives had slowly been getting back to normal, but the romantic aspect was the slowest to come and while they had shared some kisses and caresses they had not yet lain as man and wife again.

Anna pulled away and smiled, "Mr. Bates, this will never work if you don't participate."

John smiled, "Anna, are you sure?"

Anna answered by kissing him again and John became a more than willing participate.

* * *

A few months later John came home from a late night at Downton to find Anna in front of the fire place in the sitting room. He came in and placed a kiss on top of her head. "Sorry I am so late, love. His lordship wanted some of his things mended for his hunting trip, but had forgotten to tell me until this evening so I had to stay late to make sure they were done."

Anna looked up and smiled, "its okay John, I've managed to keep myself busy." She indicated the knitting on her lap.

"I see that, what are you working on? Another scarf?"

"Not this time." Anna presented him her work with a huge smile on her face.

John took the proffered item, at first confused by the small item. "This is quite a small sock Anna."

Anna chuckled, "And what size foot could possible fit in something so small?"

John looked down at Anna, shock on his face. "Anna are you saying-?"

Anna nodded, tears filling her eyes. "Yes Mr. Bates, we are going to have a baby."

John quickly knelt in front of Anna, ignoring the pain in his knee. He would be sorry in the morning, but at this moment he didn't care. He gathered Anna in his arms, placing gentle kisses on her forehead, cheeks and lips. Their tears mixed together. They had given up hope of this happening after their first few years together, after his prison sentence, thinking that it just was not meant to be.

John pulled back, and looked at a beaming Anna. "I love you Mrs. Bates."

* * *

John paced the downstairs, glancing upstairs every time he heard Anna groan or scream, each one cutting through him like a knife. It had been a long labor and he knew Anna had to be tired. He had to repeatedly fight the urge to rush up the stairs and burst into their bedroom. It was a stupid rule, husbands not being allowed to be present for their wives when they were in labor. What man could sit idly by while the woman he loved was screaming in pain? Suddenly a loud scream ripped through the house and John looked up in horror at the sound. The scream ended abruptly and John's heart filled with fear, but then another sound floated down the stairs, the sound of a baby crying and John's heart filled with joy. He could no longer be contained downstairs and headed up the stairs, reaching the bedroom door as it opened, Dr. Clarkson stepping out. He stopped short as he spotted John. He reached out a hand.

"Congratulations Mr. Bates."

John shook his hand, trying to peer past him into the room, "They are okay? Everything is okay?"

Dr. Clarkson nodded, "Mother and baby are fine, why don't you go and see for yourself?"

John nodded and hurried past him, stopping short at the picture before him. Anna looked beautiful gazing down at the bundle in her arms. John's heart started beating loudly, he was sure Anna could hear it across the room. She looked up as she sensed his presence, a huge smile breaking across her face. She looked down at the bundle again, "Your daddy is here little one." She looked back up at John. "Why don't you come say hello to your daughter?"

John quickly walked to the bed, sitting beside Anna and gazed down at the little baby wrapped in white in her arms. He noticed the dark hair speckled across the crown of her head. He reached out to touch it softly, smiling as the tears filled his eyes, "Hello little bird." The baby's eyes opened a little bit at the sound of John's voice and her mouth formed an O. John smiled and pressed a kiss on her forehead before looking at Anna.

"She's beautiful Anna." He placed a kiss to her mouth before looking back down at the little girl that would change their lives forever.

* * *

Anna and John watched their daughter from the picnic blanket. She was a few feet away playing with some flowers that were growing in the field where they had decided to take their first picnic as a family. May Joanna was crawling all around, picking at all the flowers. John looked at Anna, "You better go retrieve our daughter love before she picks every flower there is."

Anna chuckled, and quickly got to her feet and walked toward their little girl. May looked up as her mother approached and reached out her arms to be picked up. Anna happily obliged, snuggling with her for a moment before putting her back on the ground, holding her arms while she stood. May had been on the verge of walking for a few weeks and with assistance she could go a few feet at a time. May started walking with Anna's guidance, Anna slowly released May's hands and the little girl stopped for a second missing the contact but then her little chubby legs continued forward and her hands curled into fists as her body kept on moving on their own accord across the grass. John looked on in wonderment as he saw his little girl walking on her own towards him, her steps stilted but strong. He got on his knees as quickly as he could and reached out his arms towards her.

"Come on little bird, you can do it."

May laughed and her little legs closed the distance to John and when she reached him she fell into his arms. John pulled her close placing kisses on her curly brown hair. "You did it little bird. Look at you walking by yourself." Anna joined them on the blanket, smiling and crying.

* * *

John looked up from the front desk as Anna and May entered the lobby. May quickly spotted her father and ran up to him out of breath and laughing. "Papa, school was so much fun!"

John smiled and reached down for his daughter, picking her up and sitting her on the front desk. "See, didn't I tell you there was no reason to be nervous on your first day of school?" He looked over at Anna and smiled. It had been a trial this morning at breakfast, with May crying and begging them both not to send her to school because she wouldn't know anyone and couldn't she just stay and help them at the hotel like she always did.

May smiled, "You were right, Papa. Everyone was so nice. My teacher is beautiful." She looked at Anna, "Not as beautiful as you mommy." Anna chuckled as she reached the desk, and ran a hand over May's dark curls. She was the spitting image of John with her dark hair and green eyes.

"Thank you my love."

John looked up as the front door of the inn opened; he quickly picked May up and set her on the floor so he could attend to the customers. As they approached he looked down at her, "Little bird why don't you go with you mum and change and then you and I can walk down to the butcher's shop so I can pick up the order for tonight's dinner."

"Okay papa, but can we get cake like last time?" John quickly looked at Anna who was frowning at him.

"May that was our little secret, remember?"

May quickly put her hand over her mouth, Anna couldn't help but chuckle. She reached for May's hand before turning to John. "I don't know what I am going to do with the two of you."

John smiled as his family walked away.

* * *

John found his daughter in the garden sitting on a bench by the roses. He could hear her cries from a few feet away and his heart broke at the sound. He quietly approached and May looked up when she heard him. She quickly wiped the tears from her face.

"Can I join you little bird?"

"Why do you call me that?"

John sat and looked out towards the garden for a moment before looking back at his daughter. "When you were born and I saw you for the first time, you reminded me of a little bird. You were so small, with just a little bit of soft hair on your head, and you were making these cute little noises. Of course you were also covered with feathers. Your mother was worried but you grew out of them."

May smiled through her tears at that and exclaimed, "I did not have feathers, Papa!"

John smiled, and with his hand wiped a stray tear away, "Okay maybe not, but I got a smile out of you didn't I?"

May looked down, and sniffed. John opened his arms and she quickly shuffled into them placing her head on his shoulder."

"What happened little bird?"

May sniffed again, her voice was muffled in his shoulder but John could still make out her words. "David asked Lisa Grant to the fall dance instead of me." She started crying softly at the confession.

May had just expressed to Anna yesterday that she was hoping that David would ask her to the dance today. John had to admit he was not happy at the thought of his little girl going to a dance with a boy. Anna of course had pointed out that she was thirteen and thirteen year old girls went to dances, but John argued that she was still his little girl and all her dances should be reserved for her father. Anna had just shook her head and laughed pointing out that he refused to dance with her, much less their daughter. When John had pointed to his cane as the excuse, Anna just shook her head and said she would have danced with him and the cane. John laughed and said it was more his two left feet that stopped him from dancing but that wasn't the point, he still didn't want his little girl going to a dance with a boy of all people.

John closed his eyes at his daughter's tears. While he may not have wanted his little girl going on her first date he also hated that her heart was breaking. He placed a kiss on her forehead and rubbed his arm up and down her back.

"Ah I see. And you were hoping he would ask you?"

May looked up at him, "Yes, papa. He is always talking to me at school and I thought that it meant that he liked me."

"He does like your little bird."

"Then why did he ask Lisa Grant to the dance instead of me?"

"Well it has been a long time since I've had the privilege being a thirteen year old boy, but maybe David was afraid to ask you so he asked Lisa instead."

May frowned, "Why would he be scared?"

John smiled, "For many of us, girls are a scary thing little bird. It took me many years, too many really for me to admit my feelings to your mother."

"Really?"

John nodded, "I loved your mum from the first moment I saw her, but I was afraid of my feelings."

May looked at him thoughtfully, "Because of your leg?"

John nodded, "That was one of the reasons. I thought your mum was too good for me, and it took me a long time to realize that she didn't care about all the reasons I thought she was too good for me, that she loved all of me and that was what mattered and not my leg or my age or anything else."

"So David might be afraid to tell me how he feels?"

"Not knowing David, I can't know for sure little bird, but maybe just maybe when the next dance comes up, you should ask David."

May looked up, surprised. "I should ask him to the dance?"

"Sure, where does it say that a girl cannot ask a boy to a dance? All I know is that if your mum hadn't announced her feelings for me time and again, I might never have admitted my own to her."

"What if he doesn't like me and says no?"

"Well if that happens, isn't it better to know the truth?"

May thought for a few moments and then nodded. "I think so, Papa." She reached up wiped the tears off her face.

John stood up, pulling her with him. "Why don't you go wash your face and then help your mum with dinner."

May nodded and started down the path. John watched her turn and run back to him. She wrapped her arms around him. "I love you papa."

John smiled and wrapped his arms around her. "And I love you, little bird."

* * *

John looked at May, "No, I forbid it! I will not allow you do this May Joanna Bates!"

May looked at John with familiar determination. He saw that same determination in his wife's eyes every day. "Papa, I am 18 years old, you cannot forbid me to do anything."

"I can and I will. I will not allow you to go to London to be a nurse while there is a war on."

"You fought in a war Papa; surely you know the importance of nurses."

"You are right, I did fight in a war, and I saw horrors I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, much less my daughter."

Anna looked between her husband and her daughter. Both were ready to argue their point until the end of time. May had many things in common with her father and stubbornness was at the top of that list. She spoke up.

"May, your father is just worried about your welfare. Do you remember me telling you about Lady Sybil and her path to becoming a nurse? She was very good at it, but she saw some horrible things, the sort of things that stay with a person forever."

"I remember, Mama her family was hesitant about it at first too, weren't they? But they realized it was what she wanted to do. This is what I want to do. I know it is who I am meant to be."

John spoke up, "May, is this because of David? Just because he is fighting in London doesn't mean you will get to see him."

"I admit Papa, at first it was because of that, and I realize how selfish that was now. But then I started researching it and it changed for me. I want to make a difference, I want to be useful. I can't fight in the war, and I don't want to work in the factories. I want to help those who are injured, I want to be a kind face that they see in their darkest moments when they are scared. I want them to know they aren't alone."

John spoke and his words were full of the fear and sadness he was feeling at his daughter's announcement, "I can't protect you in London."

May knelt at her father's feet. "Papa, you can't protect me forever. I need to do this. Please understand that."

John stood up and pulled her into his arms. John looked past May at Anna, and saw matching concern in her eyes. They both realized there was nothing they could do to stop their daughter but as parents that didn't stop them from being concerned. Anna gave a slight nod and John sighed but nodded in return.

"Okay little bird, I won't stand in your way. Your mother and I give you our blessing."

May pulled away, "I better send a letter right away to the head nurse at the hospital in York and tell her I can start training right away." May hurried out of the room and John walked over to where Anna was sitting on the couch. He put his arm around her and pulled her to his shoulder. Anna went willingly, the tears she had been holding in finally breaking free.

"Oh John, I know we can't stop her but the thought of her being out there, seeing all that violence, I don't want our little girl to see that."

John wiped her tears away and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "My love, I don't want that either, but our daughter is determined to do this whether we want her too or not and I would rather her go out into this with our blessing than without it, don't you?"

Anna nodded and John rubbed her arm up and down. He placed a reassuring kiss on her forehead. "She is strong and brave and determined just like her mother. Those traits will bring her back to us."

* * *

Anna ran through the lobby into the office bursting through the door, causing John to stop. He saw the letter in her hand, and he felt his heart stop.

"Anna, is it May?"

Anna nodded, "It is, but its good news John. She is finally coming home!"

John stood up from the chair and walked over to his wife, taking the letter from her outstretched hand, reading it quickly. May had stated that she was being released from her duties and she was leaving London by train early on Thursday morning and would be at the Inn by late afternoon. He looked at Anna, "That's today! Our May will be with us again before we know it!"

Anna nodded, "The letter was late in getting here. She should be here soon! Do you think David knows?"

"I don't think so, he would have shared the news with us, whether he was happy about it or not. He is in town but he will be back in a few minutes, I will share the news with him then." Sadness crossed his features as he thought of the young man.

Anna nodded. A few months after May had left for London, David had been injured in battle, he had survived but he had lost his arm. David's family had tried their best to help him, but his family made their living as blacksmiths, where using both hands was crucial to the business. David had felt useless there and understanding how the young man felt, John had taken him under his wing and given him a job, putting him in charge at the front desk at the Inn. David had taken to it well and he was an asset to the business and he and John had grown close as well. John knew May had written to him a few times but David had written back telling May she should forget about him, that he wasn't husband material anymore. John had felt for the poor man, but he also realized that May shared many traits with her mother and one of them was not giving up on the men they loved. He had a feeling May would not be willing to let David go, he just hoped the man wasn't as stubborn as he had been and realized it a lot sooner than he had.

The sound of the front door opening caused both of them to look up. "Mama? Papa?"

John looked at Anna, a smile breaking across his face. Anna ran out of the room and John grabbed his cane and walked as fast as he could out the door. He saw Anna run up and throw her arms around her daughter. May laughed and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman. She looked up and saw her father standing there watching the touching scene before him. May pulled away from Anna, placing a kiss on her cheek before standing tall to look at her father.

"Hello, papa."

John opened his arms, "Hello little bird."

May flew across the room as fast as her feet would go and threw herself in her father's arms. John was thankful for the cane otherwise they both would have been on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her hugging her close to him for a few moments before pushing her away so he could look at her. She was thin, but he imagined the stresses were the cause of that. She looked well though which was what mattered. She also looked older; she wasn't the same girl who had left several years before. She had seen unimaginable horrors as a nurse, and those things changed a person. He was sad for it, but proud of her as well. He pulled her to him again and offered a quick blessing that she had been returned safely to his and Anna's arms.

* * *

John paced the vestibule of the church as fast as his cane would allow him. His knee protested but John could not stand still. He was giving his little girl away today; he would no longer be the most important man in her life. John had been right when he had surmised that May would not be willing to let David walk away from her life. At first she had been content just being his friend, and they had grown close again, but it was obvious to both Anna and John that there was love there as well. They had both commented that it was a bit like looking at themselves all those years ago when they were the head housemaid and his Lordship's valet at Downton Abbey. It had taken a few months, but David realized that May wasn't going to walk away from him and within the year they were dating and six months later David had approached John with a stuttering voice as he asked for May's hand in a marriage. John had willingly given his blessing, even though his heart was heavy with the knowledge that his little girl would no longer be his little girl.

John was brought back from his thoughts by the sound of the door opening and his breath was taken away as his wife and daughter entered the room. Anna looked lovely in a pale blue dress, her eyes were red-rimmed , a crumpled tissue in her hand. This day was hard on her as well, it seemed like only yesterday that she was holding her daughter in her arms and here she was on her wedding day. She walked up to John and reached for his hand and gave a whispered, "I love you" before heading into the church.

He turned to his daughter, his eyes immediately filling with tears. She looked beautiful. Her brown curls were pulled back in some kind of intricate style that John couldn't begin to understand, with a few tendrils left loose about her face. Her dress was different shades of white, with lace at the bodice and arms. He had never seen her more beautiful, except perhaps for the day she had been born. She walked over to him and he reached for her hand.

"You look beautiful, little bird." He let out an embarrassed chuckle at the emotion in his voice. "Although I guess you aren't really my little bird anymore are you May?"

May placed a kiss on his cheek, and wiped away the tears from his face, like he had done for her so often. "Oh papa, I will always be your little bird. I am just making my own nest now."

John smiled, his heart bursting with love for his daughter. "I love you May. I have never been more proud of you. I was nervous to be a father, you know, but as soon as your were born I knew that it was what I was meant to be. That you were given to me as the most precious of gifts." He offered his arm to May, who took it with a smile. She took a deep breath and looked at her father.

"I'm nervous, papa."

John smiled, "I swear my knees were knocking the day I married your mother. Then I saw her outside the register's office in Ripon smiling up at me, and I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. And I know this is where you are meant to be as well, so let's get you down that aisle to your David, shall we?"

May nodded and they began the walk down the aisle. He looked down at her so beautiful in her wedding gown and as he did flashes of their lives seemed to pass before his eyes, he saw her as an infant, as toddler getting her first tooth, the first time she had fallen and run to him to kiss her injuries away, the late nights they had spent drinking cocoa and reading their favorite books, as a teenager when arguments often ended with tears and slamming doors and as a young woman embarking on a journey that would take her to hell's doorstep and back and now as a grown woman getting ready to swear her fidelity to the man she loved. Soon, too soon John thought to himself, they were at the front of the church and John was placing her hand in David's and announcing that he was giving his daughter away. He sat down next to Anna and reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips and mouthing an "I love you" to her before turning to watch his little bird leave the nest.


End file.
